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Barbara Grace Lake

Poetry & Other Crimes

THE PERFECT WEAVER

© 2018 Barbara Grace Lake

 

A perfect web spun overnight
As early dewdrop sparkles glints
Reflecting dawn’s first morning light
Created beauty, killing field
Complacently she sits and waits
The meal she planned for carefully

But I can sit, enjoy her work
So intricately woven cross
Each strand decked out in morning drops
From anchored bush to bush and tree
Magnificent in luster weave
My garden spider’s artistry

SEYMOUR

© 1995 Barbara Grace Lake

 

This isn’t a poem, but is a true episode in my life.  I hope you enjoy it, and then hug whichever 4-legged furry family member you have at your side.

 

“Seymour is not dying,” I wailed. “You don’t know him. He’s a fighter. Tomorrow he’ll wake up and tear into one of his toys.” I was arguing with veterinarian Sherri Wilson, a resident at UCD Veterinary School of Medicine’s Small Animal Clinic. She tried, very gently, to explain that this “wonderful cat” had advanced ketoacidosis. He was not going to wake up tonight or even tomorrow. I knew she was wrong. Seymour had been up against it before and always survived, sometimes through sheer determination. He’d pull through this crisis, too.
I’m remembering now when we first met several years ago. It was a chance accident fated to alter both our lives. A sudden downpour, the drenching kind that often occurs in early spring, drove Seymour to seek shelter. He entered the garage through a partially open garden door, and there hid beneath some cardboard boxes. Since the rain temporarily kept me from trimming winter’s dead branches from my prize dogwood, I came in to flatten boxes for the next day’s trash pickup.
Seymour had all four legs then, but not much else was in his favor. A cursory examination showed one torn ear. Blood oozing from an ugly gash on his side mixed with mud to plaster his fur in ragged mats. Every rib showed through taut skin. Large, round eyes pleaded in a gaunt face.
Already shivering from the damp, he flinched as I came near but stood his ground. He wasn’t begging. Despite his awful appearance he seemed too proud for that. On the other hand, he was too desperate to leave. Somehow we both knew he was staying.
First, he needed doctoring, then food and a bath. Being clean and patched, however, did not turn Seymour into a handsome cat prince. He remained homely – but majestically so, like a lion. He had a wonderful, large, jowly head, a velvety, cream-on-cream tabby coat, and a long tail that he carried ramrod straight, high above his body. His voice (not a meow) was a gravelly “hrrump,” expressing every mood from playful to, “Leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep.” When Seymour purred, the sound was huge, like a battery of tanks chewing up the landscape.
In early October, when the weather turned nasty, Seymour began coming in for meals. The visits were brief: Greet, eat and out. You see, as an unrepentant tom, Seymour knew nothing of household etiquette. An occasional lapse in manners got him quickly ushered out the door.
Still, by late October, we’d settled into a routine: Seymour appeared for breakfast around 6:30. He napped on a patio chair, pounced on a fascinating bug, slept, ate dinner, and relaxed. In the dark hours, he prowled the neighborhood.
One morning Seymour didn’t show up for breakfast. I reminded myself that he was, after all, a tom. He was probably off doing tomcat stuff. I began worrying when he didn’t reappear later that evening or for breakfast the next morning. Seymour was not in the habit of missing meals. After a few more days of no Seymour, I was certain we’d never see him again.
On the eighth day, a familiar “hrrump” told me our wandering tom was home. I couldn’t open the door fast enough. Then I stepped back in horror. A happy shouted, “Seymour’s back” stuck in my throat as I watched him struggle in the door, one hideously mangled leg dragging behind him.
It took a starving Seymour only five minutes to clean his dish. In five minutes more, he was on his way to the first of many, long, pain-filled days and weeks he’d spend in veterinary care.
Only when we saw the x-rays of Seymour’s leg, did we understand the severity of his injury. Where solid bone should have been, the x-rays showed a mass of shattered splinters. Seymour’s doctors could not set or pin the bone. They had to remove the leg. Before surgery, Paula Parker, DVM, sympathetically suggested we consider euthanasia. “He has the look of a sick cat,” she said. “You could be wasting your money with this kind of operation.”
Dr. Parker was being practical. I was thinking of Seymour’s amazing eight-day survival. That alone told me how much he wanted to live. We considered no other option. Seymour had the operation.
After surgery, an impressed surgeon, James Shirey, DVM, recognizing both courage and pride, cautioned “Whatever you do, don’t treat this cat like an invalid. He doesn’t know there’s anything wrong. Seymour wants very much to live. It’s important to him.”
He did live. However, the first few weeks of recovery were not easy. During this time, Seymour lost his balance every time he tensed or tried to use the amputated leg. Then he’d scream and throw his body around convulsively as he tried to right himself. His most defeating experience came the day he slipped out and tried to jump the fence, something he’d always done so easily. Now, he jumped and fell, repeatedly, each time yowling in pain and rage as he landed on his injured side. When finally coaxed into the house, Seymour lay for hours looking out at a world no longer his. He’d chase no more bugs nor scatter colorful fall leaves.
Remarkably, the next day all signs of depression were gone. Seymour daily grew stronger, balancing so well that he was soon running, playing, even jumping for a dangling “bat-a-mouse.” Our other cats only batted the mouse. Seymour started his run from 15 feet down the hallway, and pounced from three feet away. That mouse didn’t have a chance.
Seymour’s favorite game, though, was still with our smallest cat, Tanner. The play: He spotted Tanner and gave chase (you could almost hear bugles). Tanner ran around a chair. Seymour headed her off, and Tanner sprinted down the hall with Seymour a fraction of an inch behind. He never caught her. The fun was in the chase.
In quieter moments, while watching television or reading in the evenings, Seymour sat purring on the couch next to me, nuzzling my hand with that massive head. Although if attention lagged, he quickly jumped down and moved to the end of the couch. Watching closely for reaction, he deliberately scratched the couch just long enough for me to throw a paper at him. He then ran under the coffee table, knocked his head on the underside, and looked up ridiculously cross-eyed. I think he was laughing.
In January Seymour appeared sick. He was thin. His coat was dull and unkempt, and he was drinking too much water. While testing him, Dr. Shirey kept saying, “No. I don’t want this to be, not Seymour, not diabetes.”
Seymour did have diabetes. He also had feline leukemia. By this time, his condition was so critical that Dr. Parker referred us to UCD Veterinary Hospital for emergency and extended care, where Dr. Wilson believed him to be dying.
The following morning, an excited Sherri Wilson called, exclaiming, “Your cat is awake! He’s hungry! He’s great! Seymour’s going to make it!” Now alert, Seymour hrrumped at his attendants. They hrrumped back, and a three-legged cat conquered UCD’s Veterinary complex.
For several months after that, each Friday Seymour visited the UCDVM Small Animal Clinic. Every hour, for 24 hours, he held his leg straight out so Dr. Wilson’s technicians could take blood samples. One tech declared with some awe, “Cats don’t do this! People don’t do this! I only hope I’m half as good if I ever have to go to the hospital. Seymour’s a real champion.”
The champ’s courage held, but his life depended on a delicate balance of calories and twice-daily injections of insulin. At home, as in the hospital, he was stoic about the injections, but was less tolerant about being hungry. The day he jumped up on the table and demolished half a brick of butter, Dr. Wilson increased both food and insulin. Seymour gained weight and his fur became soft and shiny again. For a few months he was the picture of a healthy cat.
Around the second week in October Seymour had the first of several seizures. Dr. Parker found nothing wrong. Since he was no longer seizing, we took him home. An hour later he was chasing Tanner down the hall.
Four weeks later, seizures begun on Thanksgiving Day continued without pause through a sad weekend. In the end, they destroyed the brain that had always willed Seymour to survive. During that time, no doctors in a trauma center anywhere ever worked harder trying to save their patient. It was not to be. By this time blind and unconscious, Seymour’s extraordinary luck finally ran out.
Should we have euthanized him when we first knew of his diabetes? No. Diabetes is treatable. If Seymour hadn’t also had feline leukemia, he might this minute be demolishing his toy mouse or tormenting Tanner (now an old lady of 15). In fact, his successor, Maurice, my companion for the past ten years, is a fat, happy, zany, diabetic cat.
Did Seymour get a bad break? Did we. He didn’t seem to think so, and I don’t. Despite his ills, he lived his time with zest and panache.
Seymour. He loved everyone and he loved life. God, how he loved life!

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TOMORROW OR TODAY

© 2018 Barbara Grace Lake

 

Why angst and discontent today
What tolls a person’s happiness
Foreseeing pleasure or the fact
A languid Sunday morning feast
Too quickly gone, and dishes washed
Tomorrow then, tomorrow then

When still a child I anxiously
Would sit up late to Santa see
He never came but stockings did
Then Christmas morning ripping gifts
At night-time wondering what they were
Tomorrow then, tomorrow then

When in my teens I firmly knew
That happiness was twenty-one
But that day came there was no change
Adult or minor faces still
Uncertain future beyond reach
Tomorrow then, tomorrow then

A picnic planned, a rainy day
A blanket spread upon the floor
No taste forfeit in chicken legs
Why wait for sun to show its warmth
Enjoy each other till it does
Tomorrow then, tomorrow then

And then tomorrow is today.

SWEET SEVENTEEN

REWORKED, REBLOGGED, COMPLETE

© 2018 Barbara Grace Lake

 

It had to be but yesterday
My memory’s so vibrant, clear
Of seventeen unfettered time
An age before a struggled life
Began when I was fully grown
But seventeen, ah seventeen

We’d spend a beach day frolicking
Enjoy warm sand and chase cold waves
Or badly skate for hours on end
At Palace Ice or Roller Dome
For special nights Palladium
At seventeen, dear seventeen

All underage so we’d sneak by
Unwatchful guards then dance and dance
To music live from Harry James
Count Basie or Duke Ellington
Keep time with drummer Sonny Greer
At our frenetic seventeen

On Saturdays the Long Beach Pike
Its scary roller coaster ride
Noon Sunday picnics Griffith Park
Illicit beer, cold chicken legs
Then plan a week of summer play
Assured of endless seventeen

Where did it go this magic year
How did it fall so far behind
How did a life come in between
Of military, marriage, kids
How did I get so old and pass
Sweet seventeen, my seventeen

A CHILD ALONE, PART 2

© 2018 Barbara Grace Lake

 

This child much later grew to teens
Still immature in female growth
Cruel taunts of classmates targeted
Her skinny legs unbudded chest

In middle school, the insults changed
Now worst from girls instead of boys
She often walked three miles to home
deterring vicious bus-ride jeers

Some words so scary that she trod
On altered paths to help avoid
A brutish hulking girl who vowed
She’d take abuse to violence

But friend she found in late eighth grade,
Her people moved from out of state,
Too big to bully, smart to care
About foul words meant to demean

Her native Oklahoma drawl
“It’s how I talk, why should I change”
And so this child began to learn
That insults hurt but never kill

A CHILD ALONE, PART 1

© 2018 Barbara Grace Lake

 

In frequent moves from school to school
One child was always new one out
Like others known in every home
Her family was known to none

At lunchtime she would sit alone,
Left out of break time chatter, fun
Her clothes too worn, untidy braids,
For sides not chosen playing games

She early learned avoiding pain
Was simple if one did not go
To be so ostracized disdained
She went instead to playground swings

Unsupervised she played for hours
Until she thought she should go home
But dark came early scaring her
And so she ran, and ran, and ran

Her mother put her right to bed
Thin soup and crackers all she had
Her schoolyard troubles never solved
She could not run away from them

STRIPPER/FRIEND MEETING

© 2018 Barbara Grace Lake

 

On meeting friends that once one knew
Surprised excitement is the rule
Exchanged are numbers, vows are made
To get together, contact keep

Such was my meeting with BB
Astounded her, dumfounded me
Some history might be required
BB and I were high school friends

And in years past BB and I
Then thought to serve and joined the WACs
I found 4 years enough for me
Apparently BB did too

When out again, first husband gone
The dating mill I faced again
My neighbor’d met a man she said
Twas young for her, just right for me

Amazingly we hit it off
But his first words astonished me
I usually don’t bring a date
To see a stripper dance on stage

This woman has a gimmick rare
She stares them down, all leering clowns
And gains respect while making them
See visions of a bedroom brawl

I watched, and watched, and watched again
Each second my amazement grew
So when the stage she left I called
BB I yelled, BB, it’s me

Her last act done, we breakfasted
BB, her husband, date and me
Then numbers gave and vows we made
To get together, contact keep

I never saw BB again

EXOTIC DANCER

© 2018 Barbara Grace Lake

 

Revolving, undulating hips
Suggestively a finger licks
She promises with arching back
Her sexuality for sale

Lewd shouts cry hunger pounding fists
Keep tempo as their mouths devour
Their raging eyes remove from her
The meager g-string, bra she wore

A lustful audience tonight
Brings dollars, dollars on the floor
Her rent to pay, her child to feed
Away from here, away from sex

Before this night the woman sleeps
She silent prays to keep her child
From knowledge that their lives depend
On sexuality for sale

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